http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9t315/dear_reddit_what_is_your_deepest_darkest_secret/
I have never told anyone this. Ever.
When I was a child, for about 3 years, I was molested by my female babysitter, who was probably 10-12 years older than me. I am male. I think this was when I was 5-7 years old and she was about 16 to 18. It started off she would just make me play with her breasts, for I would say what would be for 3 hours every day. She would tell me not to tell my parents or I would get in trouble. I wish I could go back in time and scream at myself to tell my parents. She wasn't injuring me and I was terrified of being in trouble with my parents. Let me be clear that I do not blame my parents at all. They were never authoritarian, never spanked me, and were/are fantastic people. I was more afraid of the babysitter than I was of my parents.
Eventually it escalated to her having me finger her, and at one point she told me to use my penis, but for some reason I knew better than to do this. I remember specifically asking her if that would make a baby and then I refused to do it. This was eventually a daily occurrence, feeling her breasts and then fingering her. She would then placate me with super mario 3 on the nintendo.
My sister, who is five years older than me, was aware the whole time, but was under the same threat from the babysitter. I wish she had known better and told our parents, but again I don't blame her at all. I detest this babysitter, and I suspect much of this abuse caused me to be the mild porn/sex addict I am today. I detest this woman, but I don't think it would be in anyone's interest to bring this up, as I'm fully grown and quite successful in an engineering graduate program. If I ever see her again, I don't suspect I'll be able to look her in the eye.
Just writing this down makes me feel a lot better about it. As I've said, I have never told anyone about this ever before. The only people who know are myself, my sister, and the abuser.
Thanks, reddit. AMA if you want.
edit: I know this isn't IAMA, but I'm going to bed.
Read more about him; Some selected excerpts. Quite simple BUT FAIRLY BIG issues to deal with. The life turns upside down when this sort of molestation (or any kind of abuse takes place)
http://goingtothehills.blogspot.com/2011/02/babysitter-molested-me-now-shes.html
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